I planned on discussing topics that pertain to Black women in honor of Black history month next week; however, given the release of video footage from the Tyre Nichols case, I wanted to dedicate this blog to all of the mothers of Black boys. This website/blog was created to address the holistic health needs of women of childbearing age. In a perfect world the health needs of all women of childbearing age would be equal; however, that is not the reality of the world that we live in. Health disparities are common among women of color and women from low-income backgrounds. Mothers of color often have a different parenting experience due to things such as racism and discrimination. Mothers of Black boys (includes women of all colors who are raising black boys due to birth or adoption) often have a larger burden. We can agree that all mothers worry about their children. Some of those worries are normal such as worrying about your child’s health and safety, worrying that you may make mistakes as a parent, and worrying about your child’s future. Mothers of color often discuss the impact of racism with their children at much earlier ages than other mothers, who may never have to have those conversations with their children. Mothers of black boys also have the experience of discussing interactions with law enforcement with their children. Despite what you may want to believe about race relations and equality in America, there is a plethora of peer reviewed research that highlights a variety of racial disparities among police interactions.
Having regular talks and training with your Black sons about interacting with the police can be crucial for their overall safety. Ideally these talks should begin early and strive to provide a balanced view of what “good policing” is, so that children do not grow to become fearful of the police. There are plenty of good police officers who protect and serve the community. A good children’s book titled “The Police Are Part of Our Community” can be obtained here from Amazon https://amzn.to/3jdhyvb. Another good resource for younger children are the Be Safe movies, which were designed to educate children and teenagers with autism and developmental disabilities about interacting with the police. More information on the training and resources can be obtained from their website https://besafethemovie.com/.
As your Black son continues to grow, it is important to provide information about his rights and ways to interact with the police safely. For those of you who have birthed Black sons, you might remember finding out when you were pregnant, feeling him move inside you, watching your belly grow, and the experience of bringing him into this world. Your memories may also include memories of when you feed him, bathed him, clothed him, played with him, and watched him take his first steps. You vowed to always love and cherish him despite having the fear of raising him to be a Black man in America. Because you know that your Black son will eventually grow to become a young man, which can include being over 6ft tall and/or muscular. Images of Black boys in society differ from images of Black men. In your eyes, your Black son will always be your baby, but to others in the world he is a monster, criminal, thug, violent, and less than worthy of having equal rights. The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) provides resources on your rights when interacting with the police. This information may be beneficial when talking to your Black sons. More information can be obtained here https://www.aclu.org/know-your-rights/stopped-by-police. A young Black man created The Safety Pouch to encourage safer interactions with the police. The pouches can be ordered online at this site https://thesafetypouch.com/ and are also available for instore purchases in Walmart stores throughout the country.
As the nation goes through the impact of the death of Tyre Nichols together, remember to be kind to others. The video footage has likely triggered a community trauma reaction among many Black Americans throughout the United States who have experienced this type of community and intergenerational trauma in the past. Also be mindful that everyone deals with these situations differently, so what works for one person may not work for others. Many people do not want to watch the video footage and their choice should be respected. Many people will also not want to discuss the video, case, or situation, which is a choice that should also be respected. People deal with grief and trauma differently and no way of responding is better than the other. If you are following this case online via social media and news reports, remember to take a break from your computer of phone to support your mental wellness.
Many people may also want to step up for the cause, whether it be through donations, protests, raising awareness on social media platforms, or advocating for various policy and legislation reform. I want to highlight the fact that his family requested peace in his honor, so however, you decide to step up for the cause, please do it peacefully out of respect for his family and his legacy. I will share the link to the family’s Go Fund Me Page, for those who may want to donate https://www.gofundme.com/f/tyre-nichols.
Wishing you health and happiness
My Mind, My Body, My Journey™ 