Black Americans often have different experiences due to the American history of slavery and racism. Despite the year being 2023, the effects of systematic racism and discrimination continue to impact the lives of Black people from things such as access to medical care to life expectancy. Black women experience higher rates of pregnancy related complications. Black women who are victims of gender-based violence are often ignored by the justice system, the media, and society. Malcolm X has stated that “the most disrespected person in America is the Black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the Black woman. The most neglected person in America is the Black woman.”
Black women are often judged for their physical appearance. Hair texture is criticized for Black women within the Black community and corporate America. The “good hair” concept is rooted in slavery but has continued centuries later and has continued to be perpetuated among Black women and men. How you decide to wear your hair, including the texture should be your choice. There should not be a debate among others about what “natural” hair should look like for you. There also should not be a debate about how you should choose to wear “protective styles.” Natural Black hair is beautiful, textured Black hair is beautiful, relaxed Black hair is beautiful.
Skin color issues are common in the Black community, due to sharing this intergenerational trauma from slavery. We were divided by skin color, with lighter skinned slaves being allowed to work in the house and darker skinned slaves working in the field. Embracing our beauty from every shade has not always been our strength. For years, darker skin was viewed as less attractive, simply due to its skin tone. Having Afrocentric features (i.e., nose shape and lips) were not attractive until mainstream fashion industries said fuller lips were in. Our curves were not embraced until mainstream fashion said curves were in. The American standard of beauty remained Eurocentric for years, with many women of color feeling as if lighter skin and even lighter eyes were better.
When Black women created their own standard of beauty it was considered racist, with people complaining about Essence, Ebony, and Jet magazine; but failing to criticize Vogue, Seventeen, Maire Claire, and other mainstream magazines for their lack of diversity and inclusivity. The images of Black women within the Black community have not always been positive, as rappers and other entertainers have perpetuated negative stereotypes and oversexualized Black women, while highlighting unrealistic body size standards among Black women. This sexualization has been problematic when instances of sexual assault or sexual harassment are reported among Black women, due to this perception of Black women being promiscuous and over sexualized. Black children who have been sexually assaulted are often labeled as “fast” or “grown” which we have seen play out publicly with the recent R Kelly trial.
Counter narratives can allow Black women to go against or “counter” the story or message that has been perpetuated about them. It allows Black women to use their own voice and tell their own story. These counter narratives can embrace natural hair, skin tone, body shape, and other negative stereotypes about Black women. For adults, it may be challenging to change viewpoints especially those that have been rooted in intergenerational trauma and family patterns. My previous post on personal growth and development or healing from trauma may be helpful. However, we can change our family patterns and break intergenerational trauma with interactions with our children. We can start by sharing counter narratives with our daughters, nieces, and other Black girls in our lives to help them view positive images of themselves. Thankfully, there are a variety of books, TV shows, and dolls the reflect Black beauty for children. Some of my favorite ones include:
“I Love My Hair” available here https://amzn.to/3HrqPYG.
This coloring book which highlights Black hair and features and can be purchased here https://amzn.to/3l218X7.
“Black Girls Can Be Anything” is a book that shows Black girls pursuing a variety of professions https://amzn.to/3HAhXA7.
“The Colors of Us” helps children learn the different shades and colors among Black people https://amzn.to/3HAhXA7. I worked at an agency who used this book for the Black children and families we served. I also recommended this book several times when working as a therapist.
Wishing you health and happiness
My Mind, My Body, My Journey™ 