Earlier this year the US Surgeon General declared loneliness and isolation a public health crisis1. It was estimated that prior to the COVID-19 lockdowns almost half of American adults reported experiencing measurable levels of loneliness1. Loneliness has been associated with increased risks of physical and mental health concerns, such as a 29% increased risk of heart disease, a 32% increased risk of stroke, and a 50% increased risk of developing dementia for older adults1. Many people have recommended connecting with others to combat loneliness. Social connections are important for your overall wellness; however, it is still important to learn to find your comfort from within yourself. It is completely healthy to have some time alone and have your own interests. Someone who is alone isn’t always lonely and someone can be in a household surrounded by others and still feel lonely. Therefore, it is important to determine the source of your loneliness depending on your situation. For some, there is a fear of being alone that causes loneliness, for others it may be due to loss of connection with friends and family members.
There can be consequences to seeking out others because you simply do not want to be alone. You can be stuck in unhealthy and toxic friendships and relationships. People can exploit you or treat you poorly because they know you will stick around to avoid being alone. Or you can find yourself jumping from one unhealthy and toxic relationship to another. Learning to find comfort from within can help you become more comfortable with being alone. Here are a few tips to find comfort from within:
- Practice self-care:
- Taking care of yourself can give you opportunities to be alone and find comfort within yourself. Getting your hair done alone, going to the spa alone, shopping alone can be ways to get comfortable spending time alone.
- Learn who you are:
- Take some time to find out who you are without the influences of others. Explore your likes, dislikes, and passions. Practicing mindfulness and spending time with nature can help you explore your interests without outside distractions.
- Be authentic:
- Choosing to be true to yourself and making decisions based off your desires as opposed the desires of others is a method to find comfort from within. Likewise embracing your flaws and quirks and being yourself can help.
If your loneliness is due to the desire to connect with others, you can establish a connection with others through volunteering or joining a class. There are exercise classes, art classes, cooking classes, and gardening classes that can help teach you skills and allow you to connect with others. Work on strengthening your current connections, catch up with friends and relatives. Try to plan regular social outings. Try to stay busy, tackle projects around the house and engage in other activities to occupy your free time. Lastly, consider adopting a pet. Dogs have the benefit of forcing socialization as you need to walk them daily. This will inevitability contribute to interactions with other dog owners or people who simply want to pet your dog. Dogs also provide unconditional love, companionship, and genuine excitement every time you return home. If you are not a dog person, there are benefits to owning other pets such as a cat, fish, or birds.
Loneliness doesn’t have to be an epidemic, you can work on methods to connect with others, build your support system, and find comfort from within.
Wishing you health and happiness
References
- New Surgeon General Advisory Raises Alarm about the Devasting Impact of the Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation in the United States. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Website. https://www.hhs.gov/about/news/2023/05/03/new-surgeon-general-advisory-raises-alarm-about-devastating-impact-epidemic-loneliness-isolation-united-states.html. Published May 3, 2023. Accessed July 9, 2023.
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